


not what it was made out to be

by Kalgalen



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Asexual Character, Drunken Kissing, F/M, Pre-Canon, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 02:02:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20613125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalgalen/pseuds/Kalgalen
Summary: Or: you can't believe everything you read in books.Jon's first kiss is with Georgie, and it is rather underwhelming. Not Georgie's fault, though.





	not what it was made out to be

Jonathan Sims is twenty-one years old, and he's never kissed anyone.

He's never admitted to this to another soul either, until this very evening. But he's on the oversharing side of tipsy, and Georgie has her shoulder pressed against his, and she's warm and friendly and - and he's noticed the way she looks at him sometimes, as if she's expecting something but waiting for him to make the first move, her eyes lingering too low on his face and her fingers brushing against his when they walk -

He doesn't know her intentions for sure, and he's never been good at reading people. Curiosity, however, has always been part of his worst flaws - or biggest strengths.

Anyway. He's taken a gulp of his gin-and-tonic to strengthen his resolve, and blurted out the confession. No taking it back now.

The seconds seem to stretch impossibly, and Jon doesn't dare raising his eyes from the depths of his glass to check if Georgie has heard him. She sure isn't acting as if she has; he doesn't think the movie playing on the small screen of her laptop is loud enough to cover the sound of his voice, but -

And then Georgie slowly turns toward him, eyes enormous and round behind her glasses, and she says:

"You've never kissed anyone? Really?"

Jon glances at her, then goes right back to the self-conscious staring contest with his drink. He shrugs.

"Well. You've, huh, met me. I'm not exactly - people aren't lining up for it, yeah?"

"Oh, come on!" She gives him a light shove, somehow managing not to spill either of their drinks. "A nice young man like you?"

Jon lets himself be pleasantly flushed by the compliment for a second - _ nice young man_, because that's what he is, perhaps not nice, but definitely a man - then shrugs again.

"Occasion never presented itself, I suppose? I'm not good at - all _ this_," he says, gesturing at the concept of human relationships in general.

Georgie snorts, and mutters something that sounds a lot like "I gathered", but the tone is fond instead of annoyed, so he lets it go.

There's a strange warmth blooming in Jon's chest, which he's pretty sure can't be blamed on the gin. Then Georgie gives him something he can only describe as a _ look_, all in italics, mischievous and determined and only the slightest bit hesitant as she seems to seize him up.

"D'you wanna kiss me?" she asks bluntly; Jon's heart makes a valiant attempt at a backflip.

She's staring straight into his eyes - but it's Georgie, so it's fine, it's not too bad - and he physically cannot look away, trapped under the compulsion to answer her. His throat works around the words for a bit, but in the end, he simply nods.

Georgie grins. "Yes?"

"Yes," he confirms.

Nervousness and anticipation and _ curiosity_, again, wrap themselves in a tight noose around his neck. He remembers - belatedly - that her roommates are both out tonight, and the very clear implications of that fact make him feel dizzy with something suspiciously close to terror. He fights off the urge to get up and run. Georgie won't do anything he's not comfortable with, he's sure of it; the inquisitiveness in her eyes as she plucks his glass from his unresisting fingers to set it on the coffee table next to hers is proof of it enough.

She climbs on his lap, then, her movements made only slightly imprecise by the alcohol coursing through her system, and his hands automatically come to rest on her hips. He immediately snatches them away as if he'd been burned, then hesitantly puts them back when Georgie looks like she's about to laugh.

"Such a gentleman," she murmurs, teasingly but not unkindly, then dips towards him.

"Wait!" he yelps. Georgie freezes - of course - and patiently looks at him as he stutters: "I haven't asked - haven't - I mean, do _ you _ want to kiss me?" 

Georgie gives him a look that is equal part pity and affection. For an answer, she leans down and kisses him on the cheek. 

"I've been wanting to for a while now," she says. Her mouth is very close to his ear, her breath hot against his skin. "Was waiting for you to catch up, but…" 

She trails off, and Jon says:

"Oh."

It makes sense, in retrospect. Georgie chuckles, and presses another kiss against his temple before taking his glasses off. She slips hers off as well and leans away to set both pairs on the coffee table, right in front of the laptop and off the screen still spooling out the forgotten movie, then pulls herself closer again. She overshoots a little (or maybe she doesn't) and suddenly she's right there, pressed up against him, her arms circling his neck and her eyes twinkling with glee.

And then she kisses him. 

It's - _ different from what he'd expected _ is the best way to describe it. He's read kisses hundreds of times, has heard of the elation that's supposed to come with it. People writing about kisses focus on the emotions the act sets off. It's about the happiness, and the love, and the lust - it's supposed to be beautiful in the way only a piece of art can be. But all Jon can feel, as Georgie swipes her tongue across his bottom lip, is a deep curiosity.

His mind is racing, registering each details and filing them away for later analysis. One of Georgie's hands is cupping his jaw, thumb rubbing repetitive lines against the bone - it feels nice, he decides. Their lips are pressed together, the point of contact hot and wet, the softness of the flesh contrasting sharply against the hardness of the teeth he can feel behind - he doesn't think he likes that part. Georgie's eyes are closed - 

And his are still open, he realises. He chastises himself for not acting the way people are supposed to when they are being kissed. In all fairness, though, he is intoxicated enough that everything feels a bit distant and unreal - and him acting _ weird _ is nothing unusual, at least. 

He screws his eyes shut, and tries to ignore the way the kiss feels to focus instead on how it _ makes him _ feel. He tries answering to Georgie's movements, tilting his head this way and that, biting lightly on her lip or brushing her tongue with his, and - 

And all he feels now is slight embarrassment. Is he doing it wrong? Georgie seems to be happy enough with it, but it makes him feel - it makes him feel the same way he does when he's obliged to dance: awkward, and stiff, and as if he doesn't know the correct moves. Instead of whatever emotions are supposed to be awaken in him, there's a pit opening inside his chest. He'd like to sink into it. 

Georgie must feel his lack of enthusiasm, because she pulls away, and blinks at him quizzically. Her lips are pink and shiny, and she's gorgeous. The pit widens a bit more. 

"This isn't really doing it for you, huh," she says, and if she's disappointed, she's hiding it well. Still, Jon looks away in shame. 

"Not really," he says. And then: "I'm sorry." 

He's always known there was something a bit _ different _ about him, but it's the first time it makes him feel _ wrong _ \- like he's missing a piece everybody else has. He feels terrible for wasting Georgie's time. The gin doesn't sit well in his stomach anymore, and he feels slightly sick.

Georgie gets off his lap, and settles back down next to him, leaning against his shoulder and slipping her hand in his as if it's the most natural thing in the world. 

"It's okay," she says softly, and Jon almost believes her. "It's not everyone's cup of tea. We don't have to do it if you don't like it."

"I don't - I don't know if I don't like it," he tries. His voice breaks abjectly on the last words, and he clears his throat. "Maybe. Maybe not that - much." She blinks at him, and he explains lamely: "Maybe not that much of kissing."

Georgie smiles up at him. "Whatever you're comfortable with. It's alright."

Jon does believe her, then. She sits up so she's face-to-face with him again, and she drops a chaste kiss on his lips - just a soft press against his mouth, this time, and he thinks - 

He thinkshe likes this. 

**Author's Note:**

> It's totally valid to write a character living through your own experiences, right?
> 
> Anyway you can find me on both twitter & tumblr @kalgalen, ace people who don't understand why everybody is making a fuss about making out are Valid, stay fresh ✨


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